The expression “sleeping like a baby” is a load of crap in my humble opinion. With both my babies I have had sleep issues. Specifically, my babies like a walk and bounce to sleep and to sleep in our arms. Logically it occurs to me that we, the parents, are the common denominator. (Though I have some pretty strong theories about “modern” parenting. But that is a different post.) Primarily, we only had/have ourselves to blame. We taught them how to sleep. When Emelia woke up and cried in her bassinet, I went to her even though she was fed and dry. “She doesn’t like her bassinet. She only sleeps in my arms.” I promised myself things would be different with babe #2. And then Ollie was born premature with lots of gastric issues which would leave him doing scary gasps after being on his back or on a slight incline for too long. So he slept – naps and nighttime – on one of us.
And so here we are at 5 1/2 months – ragged, tired, bitchy (me), and sad. Ollie has grown from a gaspy tiny infant sleeping on our chests to a plump happy baby who slept in our bed on his back nursing for comfort and playing when he was bored. Notice I used the past tense – slept. Armed with wisdom from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, Ollie began sleep training yesterday.
Sleep training - what an awful term. And it is awful. No two ways around it. It is painful to hear you baby cry and not go to him/her right away. But just as we teach our kids to eat, pee and get dressed, we too need teach them to sleep on their own and soothe themselves during periods of wakefulness. In the end, we will have a happy, healthier kid (and parents). There is so much conflicting information out there it is easy to get lost, confused, and frustrated. But I feel satisfied in what our plan. The points (parphrased by me) made by Dr. Weissbluth that made sense to me are:
- Sleep is so vitally important for our kids overall health. If our kid begged us for a martini or to drive our car, would we let them? Our job as parents is to do what is necessary to make our kids healthy, even if they hate it.
- A sleep routine is essential for giving a baby sleep cues. (We began this months ago in anticipation - bath, massage, book, feeding.) Sleep cues may differ for night and day sleeps.
- After about 4 months or so, a baby is capable of sleeping on their own and without “aids” (rocking, walking, driving, strollering..). This is not to say that they will sleep through the night. (Some will still need a feed in the middle of night.)
- A baby often wakes at night not because its wet, hungry or gassy but because of sleep “wakefulness” cycles or because they want company.
- Follow a sleep schedule with your baby’s natural momentum as the guide.
Our method of training may or may not work but at least we are doing and trying something. We may need to tweek our method or try a new one but for now I feel assured that we may just get our life back.
Here is a good training basic link for anyone else at a similar stage.
